A golden sombrero is awarded to a player who manages to strike out four times in a single game (real golden sombrero not included). It's quite the feat unless you're Ryan Howard or Mark Reynolds. Unfortunately, cycles and no-hitters are all the rage nowadays. Not for me, though. I will pour over the box scores to bring you the finest at swinging and missing.Justin Smoak did not have a good day at the ballpark. The 23-year-old rookie first baseman for the Rangers has 6 home runs and is hitting .220/.337/.387 this season. He did not manage to improve those stats today. The kid went 0-5 with 5 strikeouts for this month's third Platinum Sombrero. Three Platinum Sombreros in nine days if you want to be exact. Crazy. Anyway, let's grab a torta and Guava Jarritos and see how Smoak won his giant shiny hat.
Top 2nd: Smoak struck out looking against Yovani Gallardo.
Top 4th: Smoak struck out looking against Gallardo again. Three pitches. He's not wasting time. He wanted to make sure he'd be home in time for the season premiere of True Blood.
Top 6th: Smoak struck out looking against Gallardo for the MTD hat trick (striking out 3 times, the same way, against the same pitcher). Except, I guess, this would be a backwards hat trick. Has anybody set up my MTD hat trick Wikipedia page yet? Or my MTD page yet? You lazy bastards.
Top 7th: Smoak struck swinging against Carlos Villanueva. Trying something new.
Top 9th: Smoak struck out swinging against David Riske.
Alright Justin, that was a lot of swinging and missing and watching you did today. Go relax and enjoy True Blood. Your Platinum Sombrero is in the mail*.
*Platinum Sombrero not actually in mail. We have no money.
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