The Lake Erie LeBrons

Minor league baseball is just plain fun. Thirsty Thursdays, Keg Stand Sundays, Fall Down Drunk Fridays. It's generally a good excuse to stop drinking and get out of the tub to go drinking. They also come up with some of the wackiest promotions this side of Bill Veeck*. The Lake Erie Crushers are doing their part to keep basketball's Stephen Strasburg equivalent, LeBron James, in town during the "Keep LBJ in the C-L-E Night" promotion next week...

The Crushers will wear Cavaliers-themed jerseys June 30 and each player will wear No. 6 to honor James' switch from No. 23. The team is renaming its park LeBron James Field at All Pro Freight Stadium for the game. Anyone named LeBron gets free tickets.

But there's more! The Crushers are prepared to offer LeBron a league maximum contract worth $1600 per week. The contract also comes with a host family like in the movie Sugar. They'll teach him English and cook him breakfast.

Wait. Anyone named LeBron gets in for free? That's just fantastic. The ghost of Bill Veeck has to be behind this. Are there going to be midgets too?

*Crucial Bill Veeck quotes.

"What can I do, I asked myself, that is so spectacular that no one will be able to say he had seen it before? The answer was perfectly obvious. I would send a midget up to bat."

"There are only two seasons - winter and Baseball."

"I try not to kid myself. You know, I don't mind romancing someone else, but to fool yourself is pretty devastating and dangerous."

When I start the Off Base book club, Veeck - As In Wreck might be the first one up.