The Rangers and the Giants are about to kick off Game One and I'm sure you've all been previewed to death by now. So, I've decided to take the good old Off Base Percentage method and rip off some old ideas and make them my own. Today we'll take a look at some of the key World Series players as their animated counter parts from
The Simpsons.
Texas Rangers1. Josh Hamilton as Sober Barney GumbleWhen Barney was the town drunk, he wasted potential left and right. But once Barney got sober, he learned to fly a helicopter and saved the Simpson children from a sure forest fire death in
Days of Wine and Do'h'ses. The sober version of Josh Hamilton is this year's ALCS MVP and probably the AL MVP.
2. Cliff Lee as Troy McClureYou may remember Cliff from such teams as the Cleveland Indians, Philadelphia Phillies, Seattle Mariners and Texas Rangers. No matter where Cliff Lee pitches though, he always puts together a brilliant performance.
3. C.J. Wilson as Ned FlandersWilson seems to be one of the nicest guys in baseball and as straight edge as they come according to his Twitter handle
@str8edgeracer. I doubt Ned shares Wilson's racing enthusiasm after the "Maude incident."
4. Vlad Guerrero as Nelson MuntzLike Nelson, Vlad will take a swing at just about anything and when it connects, it hurts.
5. Nelson Cruz as Fat TonyWhen Cruz is actually active and on the show, he's one of the most dangerous players in baseball. He just needs more air time.
6. Colby Lewis as Apu NahasapeemapetilonLewis came over from another country (after spending two season in Japan) and has done nothing but excel at his job. Except for the time he gave the clubhouse salmonella after bringing in some expired ham.
7. Jeff Fancoeur as GrandpaFrancoeur is also afraid to walk for fear of breaking a hip. At least that's what I assume his reasoning is.
8. Bengie Molina as Comic Book GuyBoth are slow, easily winded and rarely helpful.
9. Michael Young as Mr. BurnsYoung has a ton of cash now after signing a 5-year, $80 million contract but neither one of them are as feared as they used to be.
10. Elvis Andrus as Maggie SimpsonAndrus is young and talented just like his counterpart. And I never heard him speak either.
San Francisco Giants1. Buster Posey as Bart SimpsonPosey has been a star since he made it to TV. He has the potential to carry the Giants through some otherwise disappointing stretches.
2. Tim Lincecum as Otto MannToo obvious? Sorry. They both have long hair, drive too fast and enjoy the occasional joint. I'm guessing they both smell like patchouli as well.
3. Brian Wilson as Homer SimpsonTwo crazy characters. Wilson is getting more press after his "
The Machine" stunt. He appears to have a wacky sense of humor or is completely insane. Plus, he's a guy who you'd definitely want to go party with considering his plans following winning the NLCS were to, "Rage, get minimal sleep and do it again." That has Homer written all over it.
4. Cody Ross as Sideshow BobRoss shows up once a season, makes a big splash and then isn't heard from for the rest of the year. Side note: I have a slap bet with a friend about Cody Ross hitting another home run this post season. I have the under and probably just jinxed myself.
5. Pablo Sandoval as Chief WiggumNeither of them are any good at their positions on defense but they do share a certain round physique.
6. Aubrey Huff as Jimbo JonesHuff flies under the radar but he is a strong hitter.
7. Pat Burrell as Moe SzyslakI don't think you can characterize either of them having a pleasant disposition. Moe is ugly (physically) and is hidden in a dark bar and Pat is ugly (defensively) and hidden in left field.
8. Edgar Renteria as Disco StuTheir best years were in the 1970's.
9. Aaron Rowand as Krusty the ClownThis one might be a reach but Rowand's contract constantly keeps me laughing due to his poor performances.
10. Matt Cain as Lisa SimpsonCain isn't the star of the show but he always brings his A game. I feel like I should apologize for that one.
Okay kids, who did I miss?