The Mets, A Lawsuit And A Drunk Fat Man

Sometimes it's nice to take a break from pouring over FIP and SIERA during award season to take a look at some of the lighter stories in baseball. Perhaps "lighter" wasn't the best choice of adjectives there. Way back in 2007 (pre-Bieber!), a 300-pound drunkard rolled his way down a few rows and landed on, presumably crushing, Ellen Massey. Well, it's 2010 and time to get litigious...

Timothy Cassidy was so blasted before his drunken tumble onto lawyer Ellen Massey on Opening Day in 2007 that he could barely walk, was picking fights with random fans and dropping the "L" from the "Let's Go Mets" chants, Massey's lawyer, Joshua Kelner, said in Manhattan Supreme Court yesterday.

The lawyer leveled the allegations to bolster his client's contention that the Mets and their concessionaire, Aramark, should be held responsible for his client's injuries for serving the obvious drunk more beer and for failing to have security remove him from the game.

Fat, drunk and obnoxious? That doesn't sound like Mets fans, amirite? I'm not a total monster so, sure, I feel bad for the lady. But come on, people are going to get hammered at ballgames. I'm fairly sure it's in the Bill of Rights. Let's face it, between tailgating and ballpark security being lackluster (I routinely wear my camel pack full of moonshine into games), it's easy to be plastered well before the game even starts. And when did beer vendors become bartenders who should know when to cut people off?

It's unfortunate that a 300-pound man fell on poor Miss Massey but I'm getting tired of all of these lawsuits. Maybe I'm just bitter after I lost my case against Miracle Whip. I ate three pounds of that stuff and still couldn't turn water into wine.

Props to the Post for another ridiculous headline Amazin'ly 'drunk' fan. People are getting paid for that work.