Today's honorary bat boy is Juan Beniquez.
We've had a few days of no Jobu and we apologize. Here's why we missed Saturday and Sunday:
Saturday - MTD's fight with a hobo, Darryl, results in both being hauled off in the padded van for a period of evaluation. MTD released Sunday morning into the custody of hobo, Darryl.
Sunday - Derwood gets a call back for a role in the upcoming play Bag Boy on the Roof. Doesn't get part, outside theater eats entirety of a three-pound bag of popcorn "in protest". Dozes off at approximately 8:13 p.m. EST.
Angels 3, Bluejays 1. Much to the delight of MTD and the salamander living in MTD's hair, Jered Weaver has been the best pitcher in the AL through the season's first week and a half. Weaver moved to 3-0 with a 7 2/3 IP, 15-strikeout game against Toronto, and in three starts had an 0.87 ERA (2 ER in 20 2/3 IP). Brandon Wood: 1-for-3, 2 K.
Nationals 7, Mets 3 (11). We'll try to get MTD out from under his couch to write a Sombrero for Willie Harris, who fanned four times in five plate appearances. The Mutters struck out 17 times and fell behind in the top of the 11th when Ivan Rodriguez, pronounced "breathing" before the game, got the go-ahead single and Laynce Nix followed with a three-run home run off Blaine Boyer, who stinks. It wasted a great start by Chris Young, who gave up one hit and one earned in seven excellent innings.
Athletics 5, Twins 3. Future HOFer Jim Thome hit career home run No. 590, but it wasn't enough for the slumping Twins, who've scored 24 runs in nine games (3-6).
Phillies 3, Braves 0. Brooks Conrad: 0-for-1.
Diamondbacks 10, Reds 8. Arizona trailed 7-6 in the bottom of the eighth when Nick Masset happened. The Cincy reliever did his best Lee Guetterman impersonation, allowing Stephen Drew's tying single and a three-run home run to Chris Young that got Arizona to .500 at 4-4.
Rangers 3, Orioles 0. Texas keeps winning, improving to a franchise-tying-best 8-1 with Sunday's win. Derek Holland pitched six scoreless, and 82-year old Darren Oliver, Darren O'Day and Neftali Perez followed with three more scoreless for the Rangers, who bounced back from a shutout loss in game one of the series to outscore Baltimore 16-1 in the final two games.
Time for a visit from Crazy Hot Dog Guy:
Astros 7, Marlins 1. That's two wins for the 2011 Houston Astros, so if you had the under on victories, I'm terribly sorry.
Royals 9, Tigers 5.
Indians 6, Mariners 4.
KC wins to move to 6-3, Wilson Betemit goes 4-for-4. Tribe now 7-2. Forget cows flying, can raccoons drive yet?
Other games, but down here...
Rockies 6, Pirates 5
Whitesox 6, Devilrays 1
Brewers 6, Cubs 5
Redsox 4, Yankees 0
Cardinals 6, Giants 1
Padres 7, Dodgers 2
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