Today's honorary bat boy is Stan Hoyer.
Cardinals 3, Padres 1.
Albert Pujols hit a home run ending his gajillion at bat drought without one. Okay, maybe it was just 106 at bats but it was the longest of his career and an excruciating stretch for his fantasy owners. Pujols has just 8 homers this season and an underwhelming .268/.340/.421 line in his walk year. If Pujols puts up the worst season of his career, we're going to witness some very interesting contract negotiations in the offseason.
Brewers 11, Nationals 3.
Corey Hart erupted for 3 home runs giving him 3 on the season. Tom Gorzelanny did his best impression of a batting cage pitching machine giving up 2 of Hart's homers and another one by Prince Fielder.
Phillies 10, Reds 3.
Chase Utley made his much anticipated (by me) return to the Phillies. He went 0-5 but I'm sure he'll hit like 8 home runs tonight. Placido Polanco, Jimmy Rollins and Raul Ibanez hit home runs to celebrate Utley's return. I celebrated with Sailor Jerry rum and Camel menthols because I'm the paragon of health.
Rangers 4, White Sox 0.
The Rangers welcomed back 2/3 of their opening day outfield and Josh Hamilton and Nelson Cruz wasted no time getting back into the groove, each hitting a home run. Alexi Ogando continued his improbable hot start throwing a complete game shutout lowering his ERA to 1.81. By all accounts (metrics), he's actually much closer to his 3.68 FIP or 3.75 xFIP. Still pretty good though. The White Sox started Dallas McPhearson at third base and that always makes me laugh. He went 0-3 and has a .182/.182/.182 line. Adorable.
Blue Jays 7, Yankees 3.
It was just another regular day at the office for Jose Bautista. Joey Bats went 1-3 with his 19th homer and 2 more walks. Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada combined to go 0-9 but Posada at least played near perfect defense at DH.
Indians 3, Red Sox 2.
Okay, I give up. The Indians are the best team in baseball and Asdrubal Cabrera is an MVP candidate. This is all happening with Grady Sizemore and Travis Hafner on the disabled list and Shin-Soo Choo and Carlos Santana not hitting. It's just weird and I'm pretty sure Charlie Sheen has something to do with it.
Other games, but down here...
Angels 4, A's 1.
Tigers 6, Rays 3.
Mariners 8, Twins 7 (10).
Astros 4, Dodgers 3.
Albert Pujols hit a home run ending his gajillion at bat drought without one. Okay, maybe it was just 106 at bats but it was the longest of his career and an excruciating stretch for his fantasy owners. Pujols has just 8 homers this season and an underwhelming .268/.340/.421 line in his walk year. If Pujols puts up the worst season of his career, we're going to witness some very interesting contract negotiations in the offseason.
Brewers 11, Nationals 3.
Corey Hart erupted for 3 home runs giving him 3 on the season. Tom Gorzelanny did his best impression of a batting cage pitching machine giving up 2 of Hart's homers and another one by Prince Fielder.
Phillies 10, Reds 3.
Chase Utley made his much anticipated (by me) return to the Phillies. He went 0-5 but I'm sure he'll hit like 8 home runs tonight. Placido Polanco, Jimmy Rollins and Raul Ibanez hit home runs to celebrate Utley's return. I celebrated with Sailor Jerry rum and Camel menthols because I'm the paragon of health.
Rangers 4, White Sox 0.
The Rangers welcomed back 2/3 of their opening day outfield and Josh Hamilton and Nelson Cruz wasted no time getting back into the groove, each hitting a home run. Alexi Ogando continued his improbable hot start throwing a complete game shutout lowering his ERA to 1.81. By all accounts (metrics), he's actually much closer to his 3.68 FIP or 3.75 xFIP. Still pretty good though. The White Sox started Dallas McPhearson at third base and that always makes me laugh. He went 0-3 and has a .182/.182/.182 line. Adorable.
Blue Jays 7, Yankees 3.
It was just another regular day at the office for Jose Bautista. Joey Bats went 1-3 with his 19th homer and 2 more walks. Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada combined to go 0-9 but Posada at least played near perfect defense at DH.
Indians 3, Red Sox 2.
Okay, I give up. The Indians are the best team in baseball and Asdrubal Cabrera is an MVP candidate. This is all happening with Grady Sizemore and Travis Hafner on the disabled list and Shin-Soo Choo and Carlos Santana not hitting. It's just weird and I'm pretty sure Charlie Sheen has something to do with it.
Other games, but down here...
Angels 4, A's 1.
Tigers 6, Rays 3.
Mariners 8, Twins 7 (10).
Astros 4, Dodgers 3.
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