Albert Pujols Is The Machine After All

Any doubts about Albert Pujols being at least part robot should be put to rest. Worst case scenario is he has some T-1000 from Terminator 2 in him. Pujols, disabled since June 20th, is awaiting a midday exam to determine if the first baseman can return to the Cardinals lineup as early as tonight...

Pujols took ground balls and hit off a pitching machine Monday, implying his return is sooner than later. The three-time NL most valuable player has been on the disabled list since June 20 with a hairline fracture of the distal tip of his left radius. Whether he returns for tonight's game against the Cincinnati Reds or later this week, Pujols should be back much sooner than initial projections of four to six weeks.

"I can't wait to get back on the field," he said. "Hopefully, it can be (today). If it's not, whenever the time comes will be the right time to play."

Robo-Pujols hit the ground in agony after the dastardly attack by Wilson Betemit (disappointing baseball fans since 2001) on June 19th. Pujols disagreed with the MRI and CT scan declaring he felt he could play the day after sustaining the injury. He continued to deny feeling any pain (only the malfunctioning robots like Johnny 5 can even feel emotional pain) and Tony La Russa recently announced Pujols wouldn't need a rehab assignment after being cleared to return.

Even if Pujols returns tonight, he won't participate in this year's All Star Game next week. Pujols got off to a slow start in his ballyhooed contract season. The slugger has 17 homers and a .279/.355/.500 line, all of which are well below career averages. Perhaps he just needed a shock to the system or some time off for rewiring. Either way, Pujols looks to return far sooner than any mere mortal could.



I turned 31 and I've had this pain in my hip for like a year now. Come on science, I'm falling apart here.