Porn Star BiBi Jones Loves Baseball Too

Adult film actress BiBi Jones had a busy week and, for once, it didn't require her being a naughty schoolgirl. I'd never heard of BiBi Jones until her now famous Twitpic with New England Patriots tight end (hee-hee) Rob Gronkowski. Gronkowski, for whatever reason, felt the need to apologize for taking the rather SFW pics. I think we're all getting a little too critical of athletes nowadays. I would have done the same thing if I was in that situation. I mean, I wouldn't have taken my shirt off because I'm Irish and the flash of a camera might have blinded onlookers. Anyway, after doing some extensive research, I learned that BiBi Jones doesn't appear to be a fan of wearing clothes. But she does love baseball (players)...

Jones told Business Insider that an MLB agent, whom she would not name, used to bring her out to recruit potential clients after Arizona Diamondbacks games in 2010.

The agent reportedly took her to Phoenix-area bars after almost every game, starting in the spring of 2010, where she was introduced to major league players. Jones said she slept with "over 10" players that year, some of which she believes signed with the agent, Business Insider reports.

*snip*

"It was like a dream come true because I love athletes and baseball's my favorite sport," she told Business Insider.

*pops collar* I, um, hit .167 in little league when I was eight-years-old.

While I doubt I actually have a chance, I'd love to get with her. For an interview. I have so many questions. What's her favorite team? Why can't Tony La Russa manage a bullpen? Did she hook up with an Upton? Uptons, plural? Will she star in my porn parody of the video game RBI Baseball? There's no way Jeremy Hellickson can sustain a .233 BABIP, right?

I can't believe I already had an "arizona porn companies" tag. What kind of ship am I running here?

World Series Notes - Game 1

It's game one of the World Series!!

Texas and St. Louis!

Allen Craig#

Darren Oliver and Arthur Rhodes%&

Anyway, during the opening game of the Fall Classic I jotted down some notes.


* St. Louis bat boy's name is Tanner.

There's only one Tanner allowed in baseball history, and it's Tanner Boyle.

* This debate actually took place in the bottom of the sixth inning: should Texas intentionally walk Nick Punto?

Speaking of Punto, here is a list of loud, rhetorical questions I asked my cat, Morris



during the game:

- NICK PUNTO?!

- 7TH INNING, TYING AND GO-AHEAD RUNS ON FOR TEXAS, PINCH HITTING IS.....ESTEBAN GERMAN?! JESUS!

- THAT WAS GERMAN'S FIRST AT BAT SINCE SEPTEMBER 25?!

- WHO THE HELL IS JOHN JAY?!

* Joe Buck came close to telling an actual joke in the sixth inning. It was something about a Rangers' reliever turning on a heater with his legs.

If I had to grade the joke in Cansecos I'd give it an Ozzie.

* There's Allen Craig with the go-ahead single, which finally answers the trivia question what's Allen Craig up to these days?

* Here's a segment inspired by FOX's Tim McCarver I like to call Thanks, Tim.

1. Texas down 3-2 in the top of the seventh, reliever Alexei Ogando on deck:

"He won't bat."

Thanks, Tim.

2. Bottom of the eighth:

"Wicked slider from Mike Adams."

(Scott Feldman was pitching and had been since the seventh. Mike Adams had yet to get into the game).

Thanks, Tim.

3. After Texas catcher Mike Napoli points away while giving a sign:

"Yup, something away."

Thanks, Tim.

BBA NL Goose Gossage Award Ballot 2011

Ah, the good old reliever of the year ballot. The BBA has to remind me every year this is NOT for best mustache. Oh, and saves are a stupid, stupid stat. Let's roll...

1. Craig Kimbrel, Atlanta
Not much to this one. Kimbrel led all relievers with a 3.2 fWAR (Fangraphs Wins Above Replacement) and was my choice for the BBA Willie Mays award for rookie of the year, which he won. Over 77.0 innnings, Kimbrel tossed a 2.10/1.52/1.94 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) pitching line with a staggering 14.84 K/9. And sure, he recorded 46 saves if you're the type of person who cares about that stuff. But if you like saves, you probably don't know how to text message and aren't reading this.

2. Jonny Venters, Atlanta
Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez rode Venters into the ground in 2011. That's actually true of Kimbrel and Eric O'Flaherty too and contributed to the Braves collapse down the stretch. Venters appeared in 85 games and pitched 88.0 innings. He threw a 1.84/2.78/2.88 pitching line which was hurt when he ran out of gas. In 12.1 September innings, Venters gave up seven runs on 13 hits and 10 walks. It wasn't pretty. But he was so brilliant for the rest of the season, I have a hard time penalizing him for his manager's mismanagement.

3. John Axford, Milwaukee
His 1.95/2.41/2.85 pitching line and 10.51 K/9 and 46 saves are all pretty enough. And maybe I should have voted for him higher but not because of the numbers. It's because of this...



If the BBA would let me vote for mustaches for the Goose Gossage award like I wanted to, Axford would have run away with this thing.

BBA AL Goose Gossage Award Ballot 2011

Ah, the good old reliever of the year ballot. The BBA has to remind me every year this is NOT for best mustache. Oh, and saves are a stupid, stupid stat. Let's roll...

1. Jonathan Papelbon, Boston
I don't have any clue how other BBA members vote for reliever of the year. I'm not against voting for a closer, despite the very defined role, if he was the best reliever in the league. In this case, Papelbon had a monster year. Strap on your nerd boots. The 2.94 ERA might scare off some voters but he had 1.53 FIP, 2.16 xFIP, 1.88 tERA and a 1.58 SIERA. What put Paps over the top for me was his 8.70 K/BB ratio.

2. Mariano Rivera, New York
I feel a little dirty putting two closers in the top two spots but I don't like my relievers to walk hitters and Mo don't walk hitters. He had just a 3.4 BB% but when you throw just one pitch, I guess you get pretty good at locating it. The saves and 1.91 ERA will probably get him some first place votes too. I'm afraid I'm conforming.

3. David Robertson, New York
There is plenty to like about Robertson. He had a 1.08/1.84/2.46 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) line to go with a 13.5 K/9 and an 89.8 LOB%. I actually said I'd vote for him first on a podcast a few weeks ago. So Dave, if you were listening, sorry bro. You might win anyway, I'm terrible at the Goose Gossage award. Much better at mustaches.

I got a lot of problems with you people!

(That title should've been said in Frank Costanza voice).

While watching game four of the NLCS tonight, I came across two problems with baseball commentators. Yes, Ron Darling always sounds like he has peanut butter in his mouth, but we'll get to that in a minute.


1. "He doesn't try to do too much"

That's a nice way of saying he CAN'T do too much. You think he's trying to ground a weak single to right field? If he could do more, he would.

1A.

And when did it become admirable to NOT DO TOO MUCH?

2. "A good situational hitter"

The term "situational hitter" is absolute nonsense. You're either a good hitter, an OK hitter or a bad hitter. The situation is whatever situation you are currently in. In the St. Louis seventh, Matt Holliday doubled leading off. Yadier Molina followed with a fly out to center and Holliday went to third. Peanutbutter Face said "that's good situational hitting." No, it certainly was not. No good hitter looks at a man at second with no one out and says "if I can just be a good situational hitter and fly out to center, he can get to third." Molina's situation was drive in the run, and he didn't do it.

This making outs to move runners up and the congratulatory flowers/assorted chocolates that follow garbage has got to end.

BBA NL Willie Mays Award Ballot 2011

After a full year of writing nonsense, the Baseball Blogger Alliance has yet to kick us out and still encourages us to vote on stuff. And not just things we know like "how good did I look in dress socks and sandals." Which, of course, the answer is always "very." Next up is the Willie Mays award for rookie of the year.

1. Craig Kimbrel, Atlanta
Kimbrel was lights out in 2011. I'd mention his ridiculous save total if I felt like it meant anything. But it doesn't and these two sentences were a complete waste of all of our time. Over 77.0 innings of relief, Kimbrel posted a 2.10/1.52/1.94 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) pitching line and an insane 14.84 K/9. He struck me out twice just looking up his stats on Fangraphs and I was wearing my lucky high socks and everything.

2. Wilson Ramos, Washington
Unlike the American League crop of rookies, I lost interest in the National League's group immediately after Kimbrel. Brandon Belt never got a fair shake in San Francisco and I refuse to believe Darwin Barney is a real person. Ramos had a good year behind the plate for the Nats hitting 15 homers and a .267/.334/.445 line. Plus the Nats got him in a trade for Matt Capps who sold me an Icee last week at the Discount Zone.

3. Freddie Freeman, Atlanta
Freeman had a really nice year belting 21 homers on his way to a .282/.346/.448 line. He only scored a 1.0 fWAR (Fangraphs Wins Above Replacement) but UZR really hated his first base defense. His -12.6 UZR (ultimate zone rating) makes him the worst defensive first baseman in baseball for 2011. It's hard to judge somebody on one season's worth of UZR, especially at first base. It wouldn't surprise me if Freeman fares better in this category.

BBA AL Willie Mays Award Ballot 2011

After a full year of writing nonsense, the Baseball Blogger Alliance has yet to kick us out and still encourages us to vote on stuff. And not just things we know like "how drunk was I last night." Which, of course, the answer is always "very." Up next is the Willie Mays award for rookie of the year.

1. Michael Pineda, Seattle
Pineda looked every bit like 1A to Felix Hernandez's 1 in the Mariners rotation this season. In 171 innings, Pineda threw a 3.74/3.42/3.53 (ERA/FIP/xFIP) pitching line. Pineda also struck out a very impressive 9.11 hitters for every nine innings. If only the Mariners would have kept Doug Fister in that rotation. Is a sentence I never thought I'd write.

2. Dustin Ackley, Seattle
The second Mariner on this ballot was their best hitter. Ackley led the M's with a 2.7 fWAR (Fangraphs Wins Above Replacement) which was good for over half of their total 5.1 fWAR for position players. Oh, I see why they were so terrible now.

3. Eric Hosmer, Kansas City
Hosmer took a hit on his 1.6 fWAR because UZR didn't like his defense at first base. I have no problem throwing that right out the window. He hit 16 home runs and a .293/.334/.465 line. In roughly the same amount of plate appearances, Mark Trumbo hit 29 home runs and will surely get some votes. Even as an Angels fan, I can't vote for his .291 OBP.

Also Rans...

Brett Lawrie, Toronto
Lawrie is the AL rookie of the year. He posted an identical 2.7 fWAR as Ackley in 205 fewer plate appearances. That friends, is insane. If he'd carried a .293/.373/.580 line of a full season instead of just 43 games, Lawrie would be getting MVP votes.

Desmond Jennings, Tampa Bay
Jennings suffered the same fate as Lawrie in time it took to get called up. Jennings did acquire 287 PA's and just hit 10 home runs and a .259/.356/.449 line to go with 20 stolen bases.

Jeremy Hellickson, Tampa Bay
Hellickson could easily win this thing with a 13-10 record and a 2.94 ERA. But his 4.44 FIP (fielding independent pitching) and .223 BABIP (batting average on balls in play) suggest Hellickson's ERA was a product of Tampa's great defense.

BBA NL Connie Mack Award Ballot 2011

After a full year of writing nonsense, the Baseball Blogger Alliance has yet to kick us out and still encourages us to vote on stuff. And not just things we know like "how sick will I get from eating that." Which, of course, the answer is always "very." First up is the Connie Mack award for manager of the year.

1. Ron Roenicke, Milwaukee
It seems like Roenicke isn't a big fan of bunting or, especially, sac bunting. Did I do any research to back that up? No, but it's adorable that you asked. Look, as long as a manager isn't butchering a lineup or bullpen, I don't see much of a difference between them. Roenicke did a fine job with a good lineup and rotation and K-Rod didn't punch anyone, that we know of. This award will probably go to Kirk Gibson and I wouldn't argue with that choice so...

2. Kirk Gibson, Arizona
Nobody was really expecting the Diamondbacks to win the NL West or win 94 games. But Gibby turned Ian Kennedy into a Cy Young candidate and Justin Upton into an MVP candidate with a strict conditioning program of taping their eyelids open and showing them his 1988 home run on loop for days at a time. It paid off. Well, Joe Saunders became an unwilling assassin for the Communist Party but you have to expect some casualties with that kind of training.

3. Jim Riggleman, Washington
The Nationals almost finished the season at .500 with an 80-81 record. Take a bow Jim Riggleman, surely your efforts were appreciated with a contract extension.

3. Charlie Manuel, Philadelphia
The Phillies, 102-60, finished with baseball's best record behind Manuel. According to my simulation, one of those drinking bird toys would have won 107 games with Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels in its rotation.

BBA AL Connie Mack Award Ballot 2011

After a full year of writing nonsense, the Baseball Blogger Alliance has yet to kick us out and still encourages us to vote on stuff. And not just things we know like "how awesome does that dog look wearing a hat." Which, of course, the answer is always "very." First up is the Connie Mack award for manager of the year.

1. Joe Maddon, Tampa Bay
I think Maddon is one of the smartest managers in baseball despite his time in Anaheim when Mike Scioscia would smack him with a ruler every time he read something about sabermetrics. Maddon has his share of goofs but, for the most part, he helps his team win games instead of blowing them. It doesn't hurt that he's backed by one of the smarter organizations in baseball. With a full year of Desmond Jennings and Matt Moore next season, Maddon might want to get comfortable in this spot.

2. Joe Girardi, New York
Resident Yankee enthusiast, Derwood, pitched Girardi for top manager. I'm sure he was making a reasonable argument but all I heard was a pencil scratching Derek Jeter into the leadoff spot.

3. Phillip Seymore Hoffman, Hollywood
20 wins in a row and he had to deal with Brad Pitt and the nerd from Superbad?

3. Jim Leyland, Detroit
Jose Valverde didn't blow a save all season long. That's just good bullpen management.

3. Terry Francona, Boston
I had Francona as my top manager last year. And sure, they didn't make the playoffs again and had an epic collapse but I still think he's a great manager. He won't be unemployed for very long unless John Lackey is his publicist. Francona taught Jacoby Ellsbury to hit 30 home runs. Prove me wrong. Despite the end of the season debacle, let's not forget they rebounded from a 0-53 start this year.