Troy Tulowitzki Wrecked His Groin

In a story not involving Jager bombs and regret, Troy Tulowitzki wrecked his groin. It's surgery bad. Sure, you took one for the team last weekend and had to take a trip to the free clinic but it didn't require surgery.

Tulo has come down with a case of Hockey Goalie/Baseball Pitcher Syndrome which sounds cooler than Athlete’s Pubalgia. Or my layman's definition of it, crazy scar tissue messing up a nerve near your junk. That sentence is an example of why I didn't get into med school.

The Rockies short stop and franchise player (co-franchise with Carlos Gonzalez) will make his fourth career trip to the disabled list and miss roughly eight weeks. But, boy, Tulowitzki has a ton of DTDs on his player card for someone in the second year of a $157.75 million contract. Tulo is a high pick in a lot of franchise-style mock draft and fantasy drafts. For good reason, he's a good defensive short stop (even if UZR is meh on him this year) and a monster at the plate. But if health is a skill, he lacks it.

The good news, if there is any, is that Tulowitzki at least has the bothersome injury diagnosed and can get it fixed. He's not in good spirits, though...

"My spirits aren't good," Tulowitzki said Tuesday.

See?

It was already a lost season for the 25-42 Rockies that are 16 games out of the West and 11.5 out of a Wild Card. For attendance sake, they better hope CarGo doesn't break his collar bone falling down stairs carrying deer meat.

And with the weekend approaching, please, dear readers, take care of your groins.