Scene: Monday night at Yankee Stadium, Raul Ibanez has just given the Yankees a 6-2 lead over Toronto with a go-ahead grand slam in the eighth.
Paul O'Neill of the YES Network, you're up:
"That's kind of a game-changer right there."
** UPDATE **
O'Neill had quite a series. Here he is after Mark Teixeira's first-inning home run in Wednesday's finale against the Bluejays:
"I tell you what, I've never seen a series where mistakes...are home runs."
Monday, July 16, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Your 2012 All Star Payrolls
All Star teams would be expensive, you know, if the leagues actually had to pay them. Thanks to my intern, who I pay in gas station peanut packs, and his spreadsheet skills, I have the financial details for each squad set to participate in Tuesday's exhibition (but not really) game.
There were surprisingly few substitutions this year. Even Derek Jeter is going to play instead of globetrotting with beautiful actresses of whatever he does. So, it is more of an All Star Game instead of having everybody in baseball getting an invite. You can check out last year's payroll here and 2010's here...
And here's the breakdown. Good grief, American League. That's without Albert Pujols and Vernon Wells too. By the way, I hope Vernon Wells is donating a metric crapton of cash to charity every year. For the tax break.
If the AL could have just squeezed a few more Yankees and Rangers into the starting lineup, that could be a billion dollar nine. Both leagues get a break however. The AL MVP, Mike Trout, isn't even making half a million. I don't know how a 20-year-old even lives in California without a million dollars. I'm basing that on The O.C. episodes I've seen. Harper, of course, got a nice signing bonus but he's going to sign a freakish contract one day with Scott Boras repping him.
The Pirates' $51,932,333 payroll is roughly $10 million less than the NL's starting hitters. Or one Curtis Granderson is baseball speak.
What do I learn from this every year? Baseball players need to send money to my paypal account. I am woefully underpaid with the threes of dollars I make off of this site every month.
There were surprisingly few substitutions this year. Even Derek Jeter is going to play instead of globetrotting with beautiful actresses of whatever he does. So, it is more of an All Star Game instead of having everybody in baseball getting an invite. You can check out last year's payroll here and 2010's here...
| American League All Stars | National League All Stars |
| Starters: | Starters: |
| C Mike Napoli, TEX - $9,400,000 | C Buster Posey, SF - $615,000 |
| 1B Prince Fielder, DET - $23,000,000 | 1B Joey Votto, CIN - $9,500,000 |
| 2B Robinson Cano, NYY - $14,000,000 | 2B Dan Uggla, ATL - $13,000,000 |
| 3B Adrian Beltre, TEX - $15,000,000 | 3B Pablo Sandoval, SF - $3,200,000 |
| SS Derek Jeter, NYY - $16,000,000 | SS Rafael Furcal, STL - $6,000,000 |
| OF Curtis Granderson, NYY - $10,000,000 | OF Ryan Braun, MIL - $6,000,000 |
| OF Josh Hamilton, TEX - $13,750,00 | OF Melky Cabrera, SF $6,000,000 |
| OF Jose Bautista, TOR - $14,000,000 | OF Carlos Beltran, STL - $13,000,000 |
| DH David Ortiz, BOS - $14,575,000 | DH Carlos Gonzalez, COL - $5,000,000 |
| Pitchers: | Pitchers: |
| Jake Peavy, CWS - $17,000,000 | Clayton Kershaw, LAD - $7,500,000 |
| Chris Perez, CLE - $4,500,000 | Cole Hamels, PHI - $15,000,000 |
| Chris Sale, CWS - $500,000 | Craig Kimbrel, ATL - $590,000 |
| David Price, TB - $4,350,000 | Gio Gonzalez, WAS - $3,250,000 |
| Felix Hernandez, SEA - $18,500,000 | Huston Street, SD - $7,500,000 |
| Fernando Rodney, SEA - $1,750,000 | Joel Hanrahan, PIT - $4,100,000 |
| Jered Weaver, LAA - $14,000,000 | Jonathan Papelbon, PHI - $11,000,000 |
| Jim Johnson, BAL - $2,625,000 | Lance Lynn, STL - $482,000 |
| Joe Nathan, TEX - $7,000,000 | Matt Cain, SF - $15,000,000 |
| Justin Verlander, DET - $20,000,000 | R.A. Dickey, NYM - $4,200,000 |
| Matt Harrison, TEX - $2,950,000 | Stephen Strasburg, WAS - $3,000,000 |
| Ryan Cook, OAK - $480,000 | Wade Miley, ARI - $481,000 |
| Yu Darvish, TEX - $5,500,000 | Aroldis Chapman, CIN - $2,000,000 |
| Reserves: | Reserves: |
| C Matt Wieters, BAL - $500,000 | C Carlos Ruiz, PHI - $3,700,000 |
| C Joe Mauer, MIN - $23,000,000 | 1B Bryan Lahair, CHI - $482,500 |
| 1B Paul Konerko, CWS - $12,000,000 | 2B Jose Altuve, HOU - $483,000 |
| 2B Ian Kinsler, TEX - $7,000,000 | 3B Chipper Jones, ATL - $13,000,000 |
| 3B Miguel Cabrera, DET - $21,000,000 | 3B David Wright, NYM - $15,000,000 |
| SS Asdrubal Cabrera, CLE - $4,550,000 | 3B David Freese, STL - $508,000 |
| SS Elvis Andrus, TEX - $2,375,000 | SS Starlin Castro, CHI - $567,000 |
| OF Adam Jones, BAL - $6,150,000 | OF Michael Bourn, ATL - $6,845,000 |
| OF MIKE TROUT, LAA - $414,000 | OF Jay Bruce, CIN - $5,000,000 |
| OF Mark Trumbo, LAA - $500,000 | OF Andrew McCutchen, PIT - $500,000 |
| DH Adam Dunn, CWS - $14,000,000 | OF Matt Holliday, STL - $17,000,000 |
| DH Billy Butler, KC - $8,000,000 | OF Bryce Harper, WAS - $500,000 |
And here's the breakdown. Good grief, American League. That's without Albert Pujols and Vernon Wells too. By the way, I hope Vernon Wells is donating a metric crapton of cash to charity every year. For the tax break.
| AL Total | NL Total |
| $382,369,000 | $200,053,500 |
| AL Average | NL Average |
| $10,110,649 | $6,055,748 |
| AL Starters | NL Starters |
| $129,725,000 | $62,315,000 |
| AL Starters AVG | NL Starters AVG |
| $14,413,889 | $7,164,375 |
| AL Pitchers | NL Pitchers |
| $99,155,000 | $74,153,000 |
| AL Pitchers AVG | NL Pitchers AVG |
| $7,627,308 | $5,704,077 |
| AL Reserves | NL Reserves |
| $99,489,000 | $63,585,500 |
| AL Reserves AVG | NL Reserves AVG |
| $8,290,750 | $5,298,792 |
If the AL could have just squeezed a few more Yankees and Rangers into the starting lineup, that could be a billion dollar nine. Both leagues get a break however. The AL MVP, Mike Trout, isn't even making half a million. I don't know how a 20-year-old even lives in California without a million dollars. I'm basing that on The O.C. episodes I've seen. Harper, of course, got a nice signing bonus but he's going to sign a freakish contract one day with Scott Boras repping him.
The Pirates' $51,932,333 payroll is roughly $10 million less than the NL's starting hitters. Or one Curtis Granderson is baseball speak.
What do I learn from this every year? Baseball players need to send money to my paypal account. I am woefully underpaid with the threes of dollars I make off of this site every month.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Happy 4th America And Vinny Castilla
Joey Chestnut ate 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win another championship in an American classic. That's just the perfect way to celebrate the United States Independence Day. Over-zealous eating. Frankly, I'm surprised those competitive eaters aren't dunking their hot dog buns in bacon fat yet. But it's kinda, sorta 'Merica's brithday so we should breakout some Carvel Ice Cream cake and sprinkle it with hamburgers and beer. I'm worried about your health.
But before you blow your eyebrows off with a Roman Candle, let's celebrate some of baseball's Fourth of July birthdays...
Sergio Santos, 1983, Los Angeles, CA.
What seemed like a steal for the Blue Jays in a trade with the White Sox, Santos injured that thing used for throwing a ball and has missed much of the season.
I gave him
Another set back, I'm terrible at gift giving and wrapping. Lots of papercuts.
Amauri Sanit, 1979, La Habana, Cuba.
He pitched 7 innings for the Yankees in 2011 and gave up 10 earned runs on 12 hits and 3 walks.
I gave him
A new birth certificate that named him Ami Sant and made him 22-years-old. If that doesn't work out, free raft ride to the destination of his choosing.
Brendan Donnelly, 1971, Washington, DC.
Part of the unhitable Angels bullpen that won the World Series in 2002.
I gave him
My authentic J.T. Snow California Angels jersey to try to get it signed and sent back to me.
Vinny Castilla, 1967, Oaxaca, Mexico
He hit 191 home runs and .302/.348/.545 playing for Colorado between 1995 and 1999.
I gave him
A reverse humidor for all of those away games.
José Oquendo, 1963, Rio Piedras, PR.
The comedy twins/duo/sportsfans, Sklar brothers, lobbied for Oquendo's induction into the Hall of Fame. It's not going well.
I gave him
A Cooperstown t-shirt. Not a Hall of Fame t-shirt, just a Cooperstown t-shirt. It's not his size, either. Lots of disappointment.
Dan Larson, 1954, Los Angeles, CA.
Not the guy who threw a perfect game in the 1956 World Series. Which would have been extremely impressive for a two-year-old.
I gave him
The name Don Larsen.
There are plenty more including names like: Dot Fulghum, Stump Edington, Milt Reed, Duke Kenworthy, Pinky Swander and Chief Roseman.
So happy Fourth, everybody, and enjoy that cheeseburger stuffed porterhouse. I'm sure Obamacare will cover that heart attack.
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