Jeff Kent: Survivor

Meet Jeff Kent, former Major League Baseball player. Oh, you know who Jeff Kent is huh? Well did you know that he is on Survivor? I didn't.

Why is Jeff Kent on Survivor? He says it's because of his "competitive nature." I think it's because someone called him fat and he came back with; "I'll show you." *stomps around like a Texan* "I'm gonna be on Survivor." *spits tobacco, misses spittoon* 

You know what I find the most interesting about this interview? It's not how thick he Texas accent is (although, for a guy who grew up in Huntington Beach, CA, it is pretty damn thick). It's that, even after being retired for four years, he still has that epic, 1970's, John Holmes mustache. It's not quite is awesome as the lip jacket that Keith Hernandez still sports, but it still probably deserves it's own sitcom on nick at nite.

He injured his knee (he thinks he tore the MCL) going from the boat onto the beach before the first commercial (You may want to take that as a sign there Jeffy Poo), but forged on like the true ego maniacal competitor that he is.

Alright, I'm just going to come out and say it. Jeff Kent, you're old, you're balding, you're fattening and seriously, don't take your shirt off.....

......like, ever. Just leave it on.