A-Rod Has Another Bum Hip

Alex Rodriguez's hips are aching again which either means it's about to rain or we get six more weeks of winter. The 37-year-old shell of a superstar isn't gracefully sauntering into the sunset of his Hall of Fame career. It's more like an awkward and painful limp to the finish. A gimp gait to retirement, if you will. Now comes the news that A-Rod will have surgery on his good, left hip that will likely sideline him for half of the 2013 season. He already had the right hip repaired several years ago. I'm not board certified but it appears the weight of his wallet has destroyed the joints in both his right and left, lower middle. But let's go to the block quotes for a second opinion...

A-Rod will undergo surgery on his left hip to repair a labral tear, the same procedure he had on his right hip in March 2009, according to sources familiar with his case. The surgery will take place in January and will be performed by Dr. Bryan Kelly from the Hospital for Special Surgery rather than Dr. Marc Philippon, who performed the first procedure in Vail, Colo. in 2009.

A-Rod isn’t expected to play until June or July, costing him three to four months of the 2013 season. Rodriguez turns 38 in July.

Right. *taps clipboard* Basically what I said. If Rodriguez was a German shepherd, they'd probably just put him down at this point.

Rodriguez hit 18 home runs and .272/.353/.430 for a 2.0 bWAR, the worst of his career in a full(ish) season. Hey, Derek Jeter only had a 2.1 bWAR so..there's..$46,000,000 of the Yankees 2012 payroll. Rodriguez will make $29 million for his half of 2013 and $119 million if he makes it through 2017. Maybe A-Rod will remember to lift his blocks of gold with his knees next time.

This news leaves the Yankees with a hole at third base. Not that ole no hips was exactly zipping around the hot corner. Too bad Wilson Betemit signed that two-year deal with the Orioles last season, said nobody. The free agent third base market is weak which should spark the Chase Headley trade rumors in 3, 2, 1...

Also disappointing? The Post's "Hip, Hip, Oh No!" headline. I hold you to higher (lower?) pun standards than that.