Holy Baseball Trades Batman

"I got traded to a winner. REJOICE!"

Earlier this week, the Royals and Rays pulled off an "out of nowhere trade" swapping James  Shields and Wil  Myers (among others). Not to be outdone, another mediocre at best AL Central team went and made their own blockbuster trade. And oh, did they ever trade. Word leaked onto twitter via the usual sources (Rosenthal, Heyman, Olney) that the Indians, Reds and Diamondbacks had completed a nine player trade sending personal secretaries into a maddening frenzy. Moving parts, moving trucks, moving animals. At least it's fun for us. Suckers.



*Inhale*

Shin Soo Choo is the best Major League piece moving in this deal, and he is heading to the Reds along with infielder Jason  Donald and a measly $3.5 million. in return from the Reds, the Indians are getting Drew  Stubbs. Going from Cleveland to Arizona are left handed reliever Tony  Sipp and first baseman Lars  Anderson. Going from Arizona to Cleveland are Matt  Albers, Bryan  Shaw and quirky first round draft pick from 2011, Trevor  Bauer. Yup, that Trevor Bauer. Going from Cincy to Arizona is Prospect Didi  Gregorius.

*Exhale*

OK, now that we've got that out of our system, let's get after who actually matters. The Reds get Choo and in turn, clear out Drew  Stubbs which most likely makes way for top prospect and ridiculously fast runner Billy  Hamilton in 2014 if/when Choo leaves via free agency. Choo is in his final year before he hits free agency but should provide Dusty Baker with an excuse to move Brandon  Phillips out of the leadoff spot. Dat dude need not hit leadoff, dude.

Cleveland has been getting shot down by super douche bag agent Scott Boras on every extension they have offered to Choo. I guess enough was enough. Selling high was a smart move on their part and fans can't complain with Trevor Bauer and his epic long toss sessions coming to Cleveland. You can't necessarily call it a counter move to what the Royals pulled off earlier this week. Both teams are still, in essence, battling to not be one place better than the Twins. That, and, they don't have a Jeff  Francoeur to man right field with Shin Soo Choo being shipped out. Opportunity missed Mr. Antonetti, opportunity missed.

The Diamondbacks are finally getting the Shortstop that they've been coveting since the Stephen  Drew was traded with the addition of Didi  Gregorius. Kevin Towers likened Did to a "young Derek  Jeter" according to this Sports Illustrated article. That's nice. Mike  Trout was likened to Mickey  Mantle. Mckayla Maroney is not impressed. Didi does have plus defense and hit .300 in a super duper small sample size last September after being called up by the Reds. This just in, an extension is imminent.

All kidding aside, this is one of those rare baseball trades where each team benefits. Two teams (Cleveland and Arizona) who were mediocre last year get something they've been coveting (A shortstop. A pitcher with "Ace" upside). A team that went to the playoffs last year (Cincinnati), is retooling with a legit top of the order threat in Choo. Even if he does wear a goofy helmet. There is one problem with this trade. It's the matter of the $4.99 that I spent on a Pay-Per-View movie. Mr. Selig, I'll be waiting for your response on how I proposed that we rectify this situation. Money doesn't grow on trees you know. And I'm too far away from the cash printer they have in the basement at Dodger Stadium to get my money back from Ned Colletti.