2013 Team Awards: Oakland Athletics

In order to review the 2013 season, the crackpot staff of Off Base is handing out awards to each Major League team. Please send us $19.95 for the shipping and handling of your team's Hello Kitty stickers awards. Here are the Most Valuable Player, Least Valuable Player, Cy Young, Cy Yuck, Rookie of the Year and Reliever of the Year for the Athletics. 

*Guidelines, prices and participation may vary by author*

MVP: Josh Donaldson

Donaldson followed up his rookie campaign in 2012 by posting a .301/.384/.499 slash line in 2013, contributing to his 7.7 fWAR which was good enough for second in the American League, and probably seventh or eighth in the AL MVP voting. He is walking proof that you can move almost anybody to third base after switching to the position in the beginning of 2012, improving on his 5.5 FRAA from last year, and posting an FRAA of 10.0 this season. I'm also pretty sure that he is the love-child of Woody Harrelson and Hunter Pence...

I can't be the only one who sees the family resemblance, right?

LVP: Lew Wolff and John J. Fisher

Hard to poke holes in a team that is consistently screwing with my prediction models. But I have no issues with cheap blows aimed at an ownership group this cheap. "What's that? We could increase profit by opening up the upper deck seating area for the playoffs? Thereby increasing the amount of money we can sink back into the team payroll? Maybe keep around some of our better payers? Naaaaaaaaaaaah. Tell the press there are bees up there, that will keep them from pushing the issue." Not to mention the plethora of plumbing and sewage problems that took place this season.

Part mud, part feces. 100% hehrgheg. 

Cy Young: Bartolo Colon

Big Bart keeps getting bigger and better. I tried to entice him away from a pitching match earlier this season with KFC, unofficial reports/photos showed him wiping barbecue sauce off of his face in between innings. In 30 starts this season, Colon walked only 29 batters, good for a walk-rate of 3.8%. His 2.65 ERA was the lowest of his career, and his 3.9 fWAR was his best since 2005. He's just as likely to beat you as he is to win a pie-eating contest at this point in his career. In other words, he has the career arch that David Wells wished for.

Cy Yuck: Chris Resop

In only 18 innings this season, Resop was able to post a 5.77 FIP, an fWAR of -0.2 and a walk-rate of 11.5% which was almost as high as his K-rate of 14.9%. I guess even Billy Beane can't turn every misfit toy into an All-Star.

Rookie of the Year: Sonny Gray

I actually agonized over this decision, and that was probably not the best decision for my hairline. On the one hand, Dan Straily posted the highest fWAR among Athletics rookies (1.9), on the other hand, Sonny Gray was right behind him with an fWAR of 1.5, plus he had better Fielding Independent numbers (2.70 FIP compared to Straily's 4.05). Steamer's predicts that Straily will have a higher fWAR next season, but that Gray will actually be the better pitcher. All-in-all, I lost valuable centimeters of hairline, and the A's still pump out ridiculously good pitching as if it were going out of style.

Reliever of the Year: Sean Doolittle

Dan Otero could have taken this spot, but Doolittle had nearly twice as many innings. He also has the name Doolittle (Dog whisperer?), and was only recently converted to pitcher. He tied Ryan Cook for the top fWAR in the A's bullpen at 1.6, but had better peripherals. He also has the name Doolittle. I simply cannot get over that fact. It sounds fake.