Clintoneous Mevolanate Evans was born in a small town in Ohio. His parents made an honest living. His mother worked hard as a part time teacher and full time mother while his father slaved away in the harsh Ohian coal mines so young Clint could watch baseball on the teletube.
Okay, so, most to all of that is untrue. Or so I assume. In the age of social media, people just meet people and become fast friends like me and that Saudi Arabian prince who owes me several hundred thousand dollars and precious gem stones.
Clint is the mastermind behind the underrated baseball blog, Diamond Hoggers, and the fantastic, but hibernating, podacast The Baseball Show. I was lucky enough to be invited to The Baseball Show by our mutual friend, Mike Rosenbaum of Bleacher Report fame. After my first podcast with them, they made me a regular and had to deal with way more than they expected. Derwood even got some airtime on the podcast. If you listen closely, you can still hear him eating pretzels during recordings.
Despite having never met each other in person, Clint is one of my best friends and I can't figure out what to get him for his birthday after my Yasiel Puig impersonator got deported. And I spent so much time teaching him the Icky Shuffle.
In lieu of getting Pseudo-Puig to show up, here are my birthday wishes for Clint:
1. Bryce Harper shows up and demolishes a pinata filled with Bryce Harper memorabilia
2. Clint's little boy learns how to switch hit. His little boy is a bulldog puppy
3. Jay Bruce squares one up and hits a home run from New England to Old England
4. Billy Hamilton steals at least 80 bases for the Reds and one Ferrari for Mevs
5. Fudgie the Whale Ice Cream cake (seriously, Carvel, send me free cake by now)
And for no reason whatsoever, this is the image I use for Clint around these parts...
"that-sah spicy birth-day!"
Pretty sure he isn't even from Mexico.
Thanks MJ. A wonderful post. Mastermind is too much credit, degenerate, madman, baseball junke all work :)
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