Scheduled Alex Rodriguez Hearing May or May Not Happen

The countdown is ticking toward zero-hour for the Alex Rodriguez Biogenesis/PED/General Douchebaggery hearing that is scheduled for next week. Except now, it appears that the meeting could be canceled. That, of course, is terrible. Simpy because it means that this whole daytime soap opera is going to dragged out even longer than it needs to be.

I admit that I have gone out of my way to avoid this whole mess. I hate it. Hate hate hate hate it. Largely because it involves two people in baseball who annoy me more than a human being should be allowed to annoy another human being without physically doing anything to that person. Those people are Alex Rodriguez, and Bud Selig.

But I did get a laugh at what, apparently, is the wording used for the penalty against A-Rod. Cue the blockquote:

MLB said the penalty was for "use and possession of numerous forms of prohibited performance-enhancing substances, including testosterone and human growth hormone over the course of multiple years" and for "engaging in a course of conduct intended to obstruct and frustrate the office of the commissioner's investigation."

Engaging in a course of conduct intended to obstruct and frustrate the office of the commissioner's investigation. Did Rodriguez egg your house, Bud? Make prank calls? Loiter at your local liquor store? Threw a rock through your window? I am upset that the phrase "Git offa mah lawn" was not used once in that statement. Not. One. Time.....Damnit.

I, obviously, am 100% OK with Rodriguez getting a 211 game suspension. I am also OK with anything that adds a few inches to the waistline - and costs a few inches at the hairline - of Bud Selig.

What I am trying to say is: In the span of the of 30 minutes that I spent writing this post, I have become a fan of the shenanigans that is this investigation. The whole thing is regressing into nonsense and will likely provide plenty of things for me to write about. So, thank you, Alex Rodriguez and Bud Selig *vomits* for giving me news that isn't actually news but is incredibly easy to make fun of. I kind of appreciate it. *vomits again*